The True Nature of Social Media, Part 3
Selfishness
“Social media,” is an extraordinarily ironic tag when applied to socializing. Clearly, its origins scream otherwise [1]. Of course, social media facilitates wonderful enhancement of genuine relationships. It’s the greatest invention since the pencil. At the same time, it also facilitates self-indulgence with a capital “selfie.” Much of it could more accurately be characterized as “social masturbation.” It is self-pleasuring, self-stimulation done for self-gratification that’s self-centered around what’s important and convenient to me alone! Practiced in privacy, in an imaginary cyber environment of virtual connection with digital entities, it’s under the complete control and fantasy of “self.” And, just like a video, you get to turn it on and off at your convenience. As Norm Macdonald said when commenting about Twitter, “the great thing about the blogosphere is if someone says, hey, my grandmother just died, wanna talk with me about it? You just hit, “unfollow.”[2]
The vast storages of ever-increasing “self-data,” which is constantly multiplying every moment of every day, compels an irresistible preoccupation with self-indulgence that’s unique to this technological age. Thousands of our photos, our videos, our profiles, our journaling’s, our plans, our schedules, and our family news, along with accountings of literally every detail of our daily lives from our desserts to our gas mileage, to our weight, to our etcetera’s, and our etcetera’s, etc. breaches all restraint. It’s as if personal information about, “me,” had reached critical mass. “What could be more important, than me?” And, after all, “what else are we to do with so much of what is so wonderfully seld-stimulating to us, but stimulate ourselves even more by showing it to others?” But with every new addition to our digital museums of self-interests, we should note that others might not find our collections as interesting as we do.
The next time you’re invited to tour someone’s phone photo gallery of “all things important to them,” just ask yourself, who is this really for? Dozens of images of little grandson’s new tooth may inspire his grampa to tears of joy, but to the unrelated, its tears of boredom disguised in oscar worthy feigned interest. This is about as inspiring as waterboarding. But to the “shower” it’s orgasmic. The self-absorbed indulgence is galactically selfish. I once observed a man so afflicting his lunch partner who had just lost his own son in a tragic car accident. His tears came for a different reason.
The “buzz,” [3] of showing “my stuff,” overrules the humdrum of common courtesy, while secreting the intoxicant of self-indulgence. Meanwhile, the vital social skill of esteeming the interests of others higher than our own is being extinguished. The Pavlovian conditioning here is obvious, but it goes unnoticed, desensitization being the chief side effect of overdosing on self.
[1] Blog, The True Nature of Social Media, Part 1, by Russ Moe www.hedoesallthings.com/truth-be-told/the-true-nature-of-social-media [2] Late Night with David Letterman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f64IU_sSPso [3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7jar4KgKxs